Wednesday, September 29, 2010
mutherfucking sailfish
So this morning I was rummaging around the garage looking for an umbrella (thanks, TS Nicole, you big stupid rainstorm) and it was dark. I leaned over some boxes and I felt something sharp smash into my glasses, then scratch my face. I look and it's a mutherfucking sailfish bill, all sharp and black and about 3 feet long...
Thank christ I had my glasses on, which I hardly EVER put on before I get in my car to drive to work.
I turned and walked out of the garage in horrified shock.
I was nearly killed. Or at the very least I would be wearing a snazzy eye patch right now. Can you imagine?
Sometimes it's like God just leans right down a gives you a kiss on the forehead. Today was that day for me, and I'm terribly grateful :)
Thank christ I had my glasses on, which I hardly EVER put on before I get in my car to drive to work.
I turned and walked out of the garage in horrified shock.
I was nearly killed. Or at the very least I would be wearing a snazzy eye patch right now. Can you imagine?
Sometimes it's like God just leans right down a gives you a kiss on the forehead. Today was that day for me, and I'm terribly grateful :)
Tuesday, September 28, 2010
this blog is not yet rated
...because, seriously no one's rated it.
I went running yesterday with Plato. Which is a real big freaking deal because I hate running.Yet at a big Labor Day (which was aces all the way, in case you didn't come. Or weren't invited) I promised one of my more manic and slightly more motivated friends that I would run this damn half-marathon with her in January 2011.
It truly seemed like a great idea at the time. Like, hell yes I'ma run this thing! I've gotten really lazy and unmotivated over the past few months and my friend was making SO MUCH SENSE. The health benefits, the rigorous training schedule, the discipline...plus I had already drunk a moderate quantity of beer and was pretty impressionable. So I agreed.
Jump forward 3 weeks and I've spent $74 on Asics (which don't even really fit properly), way too much time on the internet researching training methods and energy gels and sports bras and about 4 hours *actually* running. I mean, I really hate running. What truly solidified my disdain for this ridiculous sport was a couple weekends ago I did a 5K (3.1 miles) with my friends. It was awful. My feet felt like they were on fire. ABout halfway through I realized that a half marathon takes approximately 3 hours to complete.
::3 HOURS::
Fuck. That.
Anyways, last night I went for a 4 mile run with Plato, and it was pretty ok I guess. If you like running.
I started running about 5 years ago when I weighed 210 pounds. One day my husband (bless him) sat me down in private and informed me that I was very, very overweight and that he was worried about 'my health' (read: the fact that his wife was a fatty). And that he was no longer sexually attracted to me. O_o
Also he said that he loved me very much and would like to see me healthy. Well, me being me, I was mortified, didn't speak to him for a couple of days, cried an ocean of tears, blah blah blah... then proceeded to run. Everyday.
It worked! It was hard, but I actually sweated my ass off and lost about 60 pounds. So I realized that running was probably the best way to lose weight and maintain it. What a revelation! (Ironically, just as I was losing the weight, he was gaining it)
But please, dear reader, do not mistake my happiness about being thin for a love of running. It's awful. Don't ever do it.
I went running yesterday with Plato. Which is a real big freaking deal because I hate running.Yet at a big Labor Day (which was aces all the way, in case you didn't come. Or weren't invited) I promised one of my more manic and slightly more motivated friends that I would run this damn half-marathon with her in January 2011.
It truly seemed like a great idea at the time. Like, hell yes I'ma run this thing! I've gotten really lazy and unmotivated over the past few months and my friend was making SO MUCH SENSE. The health benefits, the rigorous training schedule, the discipline...plus I had already drunk a moderate quantity of beer and was pretty impressionable. So I agreed.
Jump forward 3 weeks and I've spent $74 on Asics (which don't even really fit properly), way too much time on the internet researching training methods and energy gels and sports bras and about 4 hours *actually* running. I mean, I really hate running. What truly solidified my disdain for this ridiculous sport was a couple weekends ago I did a 5K (3.1 miles) with my friends. It was awful. My feet felt like they were on fire. ABout halfway through I realized that a half marathon takes approximately 3 hours to complete.
::3 HOURS::
Fuck. That.
Anyways, last night I went for a 4 mile run with Plato, and it was pretty ok I guess. If you like running.
I started running about 5 years ago when I weighed 210 pounds. One day my husband (bless him) sat me down in private and informed me that I was very, very overweight and that he was worried about 'my health' (read: the fact that his wife was a fatty). And that he was no longer sexually attracted to me. O_o
Also he said that he loved me very much and would like to see me healthy. Well, me being me, I was mortified, didn't speak to him for a couple of days, cried an ocean of tears, blah blah blah... then proceeded to run. Everyday.
It worked! It was hard, but I actually sweated my ass off and lost about 60 pounds. So I realized that running was probably the best way to lose weight and maintain it. What a revelation! (Ironically, just as I was losing the weight, he was gaining it)
But please, dear reader, do not mistake my happiness about being thin for a love of running. It's awful. Don't ever do it.
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